meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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