she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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