He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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