I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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