I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
