Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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