i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
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