Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
