Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
