I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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