if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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