We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?