Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.