I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
