just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize