One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
