I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
