Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
