My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
no, he came in my armpit
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Drunk is a universal language darling
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
