woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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