dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He? As in you personified your dick?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
