she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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