and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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