If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Boobs speak an international language.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
