they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize