All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
