help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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