Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize