I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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