those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
3pm strippers are depressing
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
