Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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