you would pick up someone in the library
Is it because I queefed?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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