I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
