its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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