Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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