Pants 0. Shit 1.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
