You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
