I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My Sexting was not on an AP level
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
