I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well most of my day revolves around power hour
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Rumble strips road head = magical
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize