he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
