What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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