I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
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Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
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How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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