Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize