I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
