I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
