Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
