My brain says no but my pants say off.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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