if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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