and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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