worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
