As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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