i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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