Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
