she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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