are you still at the devil's house?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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