Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
