I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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