She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
