Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
