I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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