I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's the barista slut.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
