We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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