I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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