I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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