i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
