I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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