we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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