i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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