: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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