Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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