if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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