Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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